WEEK SEVEN OF THE EVER POPULAR D-RAY'S CORNER!!

HISTORY OF THE HAND PLANT, AN ANCIENT CHINESE SECRET OR JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE?

Not everyone on Earth can do a hand plant, heck most people don't even know (or care) that people are doing HAND PLANTS all around the World! I just did a pretty sick HAND PLANT on a wave the other day and this is what I asked Jones:

"Well as far as I know the hand plant has been around since we were monkeys, I mean when you have opposable thumbs what else are ya gonna do with them? If you really want the boring history of the hand plant go someplace else cause thats what google is for. Scroll down to see my latest handplant! Don't forget to watch my Shoulin uncle "Fingus Amingus" and his really old Ancient Chinese secret VIDEO..."

This dude is the master of disaster! YEE-OUUUUCH!

SEE KIDZ, it really doesn't matter if your an Old Chinese dude who happens to love leaning against a wall upside down on one finger, or a Robot who arbitrarily got thrown into this whole D-Ray hand plant fiasco just because his photos contained meta tags which led me to it. What really matters is that it is happening and NOBODY, I mean NOBODY has a clue why...?

SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON D-RAYS CORNER!

WEEK NUMBER SIX****** D-RAYS CORNER!!!******

"AGING GRACEFULLY" WITH D-GREY !

"Pardon my attire, I have changed my identity for the week while I vacation in Pakistan...Vacation you ask? Well yes it's all part of this weeks D-Ray's corner and aging gracefully...Vacations are a must! So hold on tight, as we let this one unfurl....."

Well, aint age a bitch!?? With everyone ripping so hard these days, 3 year olds towing into jaws, 1 year olds that can ollie small farm animals etc.... It really makes you feel old sometimes. So to age gracefully ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS invent and bust a "fat NEW move" (at least once every few years) or people will think your "over it."

WATCH THIS VIDEO SO U KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.  

Anyway, yeah the whole thing with Taj Burrow saying "we gotta step it up" at Snapper Rock this year, and then he got those 2 huge scores in his heat. He reminded me that I'm old enough to be Dane Reynolds
or Jordy Smiths Dad!!! SO here is the story: I havent been feeling real springy lately, so I thought I better start "Steppin up MY game," before those wipper snappers bypass me ... I call this move the Jordy Reynolds...Part Jordy's rail slashing spinner and part Danes' wicked rail carve flambay.... I lost my heat, this move was after the buzzer (3rd place overall Legends of the C.C.) Sorry Dane and Jordy, you weren't invited.... :(

When Taj say's jump! I say how high?

NEW MOVE ALERT: The JORDY REYNOLDS!!!

By D-Ray

SMooth like Butter... My Doctor said I should take a break after yanking this New Move, thats why I am reporting from Pakistan, while the surf industry simmers down about this weeks D-Rays corner.

Heres the best music video...Niel Young "Old Man" Let it play....

Signing out....

"WEAK" #5 (we can't believe it either) The HIGHLY anticipated D-RAYS CORNER!!

"GET BUFF!!! "

"AND RIPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!! " A video Training Guide to Getting Buff and Ripping.

*****CONGRATS TO Az-hi-az-I-aM Team Rider DUSTIN RAY for placing #2 in the Volcom Stone Central Coast Contest series*****
(Nate Tyler got first place, yeah Nate!)

Now that your gettin a little flabby beacause you "TOW SURFED" (see story below) all winter and haven't paddled in since the water was 70 degrees, it's time to "GET BUFF AND RIP" so that you can make the ladies melt when they see you at the beach this summer. **** NOTE****If your a chick please don't get buff and rip... it really bums us out when you can surf better than us and beat us up too.... One or the other ladies, one or the other.

Check out this video of me at the World Championships of Buff-ness, what you thought I couldn't do the ROBOT or MOON WALK????

SO! You wanna GET BUFF AND RIP TOO??!! I got Volcoms entire team on a training program and you can see that my friends Nate Tyler, Ozzie Wright, and even little Mikey Morissey have made huge progress in getting buff!! See them all in the video's below!!

So all you flaggelating mammies out there, Get Buff and Rip!

I'm pretty stoked on V-co's new Protien infused BUFF video! (I'm glad I could inspire a multi million Dollar Clothing brands ad campaign, just by flexing my deltoids!)

The End.

WEEK #4 OF THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED "D-RAy'S CORNER"!!!

This week "TOW SURFING ON A BUDGET"

"IF YOU WERE BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN YOUR MOUTH, YOU DON'T NEED TO READ MY "TOWSURFING ON A BUDGET" ARTICLE. JUST BUY THE SKI IN THE VIDEO BELOW, put it in your garage and tell all your friends how cool you are."

AS FOR THE REST OF US: "TOWSURFING ON A BUDGET" HAS SOME SERIOUS RAMIFICATIONS.

DEFENITION: Tow Surfing or Tow in Surfing originated in hawaii by the Fletcher Family. Herbie Fletcher towed his son Christian into waves using a stand up jet ski. And 20 years later, people caught on and started using the SKI to catch larger waves and also a higher quantity of waves. Visit our friends at TOWSURFER.com for the whole scoop.

#1 FIRST YOU NEED TO FIND A "GLORY HOLE" OR WAVE WORTHY OF TOW SURFING.

#2 Now the hard part. You have to realize that your broke and can't afford a Jet Ski.

#3 Arms work like a Jet Ski, just not as effortlessly or as powerful. Be carefull your Mama warned you about doing things like this.

Well Boys and Girls, if you grow up without a trust fund like I did. Your gonna pay the price sooner or later. I found out how hard it is to TOW SURF without a jet ski but think it is a small price to pay compared to the $12,000 price tag of a new ski... Think of it this way, its like your making a couple hundred bucks $$ for every wave you blow. A trust fund baby could never understand that sort of an economic outlook.

WEEK#3!!

WEEK 3 of D-Ray's Corner! "How to speak Klingon" (because chicks dig it)

First off let me explain: Klingons (Klingon: tlhIngan) are a warrior race in the fictional Star Trek universe. They were recurring antagonists on the show for many years. I think they are pretty cool and would like to teach you what I've learned.

Below is the Klingon Alphabet, I am still trying to decifer it.

This dude below is not what the Klingon race is about, don't believe the hype.

The Klingon language is something truly unique. While there have been other artificial languages, and other languages crafted for fictional beings, Klingon is one of the rare times when a trained linguist has been called upon to create a language for aliens. Add to this more than a quarter-century of the Star Trek phenomenon, a mythos that has permeated popular culture and spread around the globe. These factors begin to explain the popularity of the warrior's tongue.

Klingon was invented by Marc Okrand, for use in some of the Star Trek movies. He invented not just a few words to make the Klingons sound alien, but a complete language, with its own vocabulary, grammar, and usage. Genious eh?

***CLICK TO HEAR*** We are Klingons! "tlhIngan maH!" ***click to hear***

I got my degree from the Klingon Language Institute and you can too, just click here to learn more...

Alright listen up all you crusty sea creatures! what we are calling this one is the BETTER LATE THAN NEVER Episode of D-Rays Corner. In this segment D-Ray will demonstrate Sir Isaac Newtons "Law of Gravity" while performing a late take off over a human!

Isaac Newton (FIG's Brother) thought he was a real smart feller and made up the Law of Universal Gravitation!!! Good thing for us, we would all be floatin around in space if he didn't!!

GRAVITY? T he law of Universal gravity is a special force between any two bodies and is directly proportional to the product of their masses AND inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. ...The measure of the force of gravitation on a given body on Earth is the weight of that body. So as I take a beating (see photo above) I totally get the picture of what Newt-Dogg was talkin about.

"If ya don't keep fightin it, it might hold you down forever!"

CAUTION: KIDZ DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! We promised you a Late Drop over a human and that's exactly what you have here. Special thanks to D-Ray and Abe Toke for volenteering thier skillz to bring you these photos!

Check out this google search for more on SIR ISAAC NEWTON!!

LAST WEEKS EXCURSION WITH DUSTIN WAS ABOUT "CYLINDRICAL OBJECTS"

"You see kidz, Cylindrical objets are everywhere, you just have to look... and Wham!! There they are!!" D-Ray is an Oceanagraphic and Bouy Research Specialist at Lake Nacimiento California.